Saturday, July 5, 2014
Lately I've been thinking, this gig has to be up soon. This is too easy. This is too fun.
This is how life is right now. This is how I thrive--with manageable doses of meaningful work, simple pleasures, and plenty of margin to welcome the unexpected. How, then, have I come to view this pace as not enough, self-indulgent, and even lazy?
What kind of respectable person has time for on-the-fly play dates and the freedom to sunbathe at noon on a Tuesday?
Is it possible that this pace of life has some sort of merit? When I think about the difficulties that the rest of the world is struggling with--hunger, war, basic survival--I think I have no right to live the way I live. But at the same time, I feel presence and empathy more readily. When I'm not consumed with my own basic survival, I'm a better mom and more conscious traveler upon this earth.
I've also been watching my kids and how innocent and free they are when they're consumed with play and exploration. Isn't that the goal we're all trying to achieve? To get back to that pure innocence and enjoyment of life?
I don't know the answer right now, but I feel like I'm stumbling onto something with my current pace of life. Yes, I feel guilty, but I also feel hopeful that this life might give way to something more meaningful and impactful than I could ever have imagined.